Our Scars
by Jemmasgiirl
Summary: Instead of a shooting, Rick tried to murder people at a Degrassi party. Read to find out who was killed, Emma was almost, but Jay got stabbed for her in order to save her. Rick is now locked up. Jay, Sean & Spin are now cops. It's been years.. but as a killer is on the loose, it reminds them of their past and they might need to go face that past. As for Jay,he wants to go face Emma
1. Rick's Revenge

It happened so fast. Buzzer would go off, Degrassi would win their trivia game against Lakehurst, thanks to Rick, and then for one blissful moment, he would be happy.

Then, he would be completely humiliated and sent back to reality that nobody truly believed he was that changed man he claimed to be. .the controlled boy who wished he could take back what he did to Terry.

But all that control was lost when that paint poured down on him, and the feathers with.. and it didn't help that Emma didn't have feelings for him back..

because he didn't just have feelings. He loved her, and I mean REALLY loved her and if she didn't feel that back? And wanted someone else? He'd have to kill her to keep her.

And how perfect that was when Jimmy was throwing a small party for his win. Rick wasn't stupid, he heard Spinner and Jay in the bathroom, Jimmy was part of that prank too.

Or so he though.

It all went by like slow motion, yet fast..

Walk into the party.

Find Jimmy, shoot him dead.

Craig walks in, have to shut him up before anyone else noticed, grabs a knife and digs it into his stomach.

Next? Spinner and Jay.

Save the best for last, Emma.

To get through to Spinner, Rick had to get through Paige...she had it coming anyways. As the little Queen Bitch laid on top of her boyfriend, on and off ofcourse, Rick grabbed the back of her hair, lifting her head up.

Spinner saw that in slow motion too, looking up to see Rick holding his girl friends head as he sliced her throat, than came after him. He stabbed him in the back as he ran, and left him for dead.

Wasn't until he turned to see both Manny and Alex pass by the room he did this in, and saw everything, and went running screaming.

He shot anyone who went in his way as now everyone knew he was there, and on a murder spree.

Alex ran right to Jay, but Jay's eyes were widen in horror, watching Rick as Alex tried to pull his hand to run. But Jay saw what Rick had his eyes on.

Emma.

The blonde was in the corner, and she was too in fucking shock to even move as Rick was storming right over to her.

He shot JT on his way, and Toby cried out, running to his best friend and stared at Rick is disbelieve, "HOW COULD YOU?! Why Rick, why?!" He cried, not understanding. He thought he was the only one bullied?

It was highschool. This...this was slaughter.

Jt fought to stay alive as Rick left Toby to care for him, and Rick walked around that body as he headed for Emma. All the other students had already fled the house.

Except one.

Rick dropped his gun on the floor and went with his knife, he decided that was the better weapon for this one.

He'd make her feel how a ripped out heart felt like.

"You made my list." Rick told Emma, who trembled in the corner and bursted into tears, staring at that large knife in his hands.

She shut her eyes tight when he raised it back, and when she opened them, that one person who stayed back, was now standing infront of her.

Jay.

Rick madly glared into Jay's eyes as he dug his knife into his stomach even harder, realising Jay intentionally tried to save Emma, and that just REALLY pissed him off

Jay choked a bit but glared back down at Rick so Rick knew Jay WANTED this, and he didn't 'win' this round. Jay Hogart WILL go down with a fight.

Emma sucked in the breath she could barely hold and tried to catch Jay as he fell, he was holding the end of the knife in is stomach. She was shaking, and put into shock for a few moments as she stared at the blood

Blood, blood everywhere, and Emma cried oh so hard when she sat over Jay, wondering what to do, if she should take it out.. Why? Why did he do that?!

"You stupid idiot!" Emma cried harder, putting her hand on his as he held the knife in him and her other hand on his shoulder as Jay painfully chuckled.

It also appeared he would go down with Emma still yelling at him.

He just couldn't, couldn't let Rick hurt her for most of his doings or in general just hurt her. She was probably the only person in Degrassi who would go somewhere. She was beautiful and smart, ambitious, not like him or any of his friends..

Emma was Miss Perfect to him, it's why they never got along, he was so Mr. Wrong. It's also why there was so much sexual tension between them. But Jay guessed he'd also go down with that secret too and not knowing if she felt the same.

Sean had run into the house now, hearing about what had happened and couldn't let his friends hold him back when he was told Jay, Emma and even Jt were still inside.

Sean stared in horror at Emma crying her heart out over a bleeding Jay, and Rick Murray standing over them with no weapon now.

A gun. Sean was so close to it and Rick madly ran over to beat him to it but BANG! Sean got it first...and he didn't see himself shooting Rick, but it all went by so quickly

Cops ran in and out of the house, tending students, carrying out dead bodies.

Spinner had made it, he was lifted on a stretcher and even Jay was pulled into the same ambulance as him. Jay was pretty, morphined, but he remembered looking over to Spinner, who barely had his eyes open but turned his head and looked back at Jay.

It was just some silent look, thanking it was over and seeing the error of their ways. No more bullying. Time to grow up...if they lived through this.

Rick was shot, and right into the side of his neck, but he lived through it..and they had him locked up in his own cell in a criminally insane prison.

Emma had followed Jay to the hospital, despite her parents pleads or Alex's threats. Sean stayed with her and Alex was just too 'upset' to stay. Emma didn't realise how much Jay meant to her til then, how Degrassi- no, how LIFE would of been without him. They saw another every day, made an effort just to rant to another once a day and she found herself almost looking forward to another day of him teasing her. He couldn't go. He couldn't let go. It wouldn't be the same and she couldn't think for another second of him being hurt or dead over her.

Jay turned out okay, and had a scar to go with that. Spinner on the other hand, was sentenced to a wheel chair for a few years til back on his feet and running. He had a bad scar too.

Sean was okay, minus the scar in him. It took a lot to shoot Rick...and he was scarred over the fact he did, it was the fact Rick LIVED through it and Sean found himself wishing he just died and he should of aimed better.

That's what led to the boys' career paths. Cops. And when Jay graduated highschool, he found himself squishing through the graduates who hugged their friends and parents, but he didn't, he went looking for _her_ right away.

He heard from around, she was going to university in some really great state while they stayed back, like he knew they would and she would. See? Going great places, Miss Perfect.

He was cut off to then see the person who did so, **was** Emma. They stared at another and Jay softened, hearing her parents call her as she stared back up at him, ignoring them. She was beautiful, wearing a floral strapless dress probably for a after dinner party. Her hair was curled in big curls and she glowed. For awhile there she was slackin on the make up and clothes, coming to school wearing sweats, pony tails, and wishing she was dead.

Now she finally looked happy and he gave a small smirk as she just smiled softly up to him as she turned, going back to her parents. It was like they both knew they were looking for another, and had that moment, before they parted ways.

This was the boy who saved her life.

She glanced once more over her shoulder at him as he stood there and watched her go.. and in what he thought, would be the last time he saw her.

And everyday he'd wish he'd just go find her, admit he may be in love with her.. wasn't until college where he judged every girl to her, and even dumped Alex.. that he knew he was in love, but it was too late. Miss Perfect was gone.

They never talked about how long she stayed at the hospital with him, til he could get up and walk around again without wincing. And then when it was back to school, it was just far away stares until graduation. Then it was a final smile.

How he wished he could see that bright smile again.


	2. Little Breath Of Life

_And the fever began to spread  
From my heart down to my legs  
But the room is so quiet, oh oh oh oh_

And although I wasn't losing my mind  
It was a chorus so sublime  
But the room is so quiet, oh oh oh

I was looking for a breath of a life  
A little touch of heavenly light  
But all the choirs in my head sang, no oh oh oh

_[not in the music video]__  
To get a dream of life again  
A little vision of the sun in the end  
But all the choirs in my head sang, no oh oh oh_

_(Florence and the machine- Breath of life)_

Emma was now 23, and she ran as fast as she could in the woods, in her jog outfit. She panted and breathed out hard as she went faster and faster, jumping branches and logs in her way until she found that path that would bring her home.

Home.

Matter of fact, she was recently back in Toronto. She stopped and bent over, trying to catch her breath as she stared at her new house, a cabin by these woods but a nice looking house.

Very Emma.

Very cozy inside too..yet just couldn't feel like home here. She hated it here but missed all her friends. Emma sat up and put her hands on her hips, her chest still sinking up and down as she glanced up at the sky.

Yes she's moved on, but barely. The sicko was locked up in a very isolated cell that was like a dungon. Emma's never seen but, Sean was told and he let her know it was pretty secure. She heard the psychopath had just graduated in his cell for Criminal Justice and so much more. Funny how he had more than 60 years in prison yet felt the need to 'school' himself.

I mean he was already good at science, so he already had that, but now he had the lessons of Criminal law too, and just got his degree, and Behavioral Analysis expert as well.. I mean I guess that made him scarier to Emma now, Rick was so smart...if he were to ever get out, he would probably use this on people, get into their heads more than he does now.

Emma got sick thinking about it.

Sean and Jay also got sick to their stomach when they heard some cops from their own station had went to Rick for help, hearing about his achievements in prison from the newspaper. They guessed if they were looking for an insane criminal, Rick would know best, know how he thought, why he did it, they tried to use Rick for cases but he only helped with one..

A boy who was like him, who was bullied by this one person, and was going around killing other people that looked like this person. He didn't WANT the boy to be caught, he understood, but the cops made deals with him; Get him better meals..more books. Rick needed more books. More information. So he took the deal and caught their man by looking at files, giving his advice and what this boy would probably be like and how he thought.

Since then though? Nothing. And cops stopped trying to get his help. But why? Why get all those Degree's and not use your knowledge?

Emma opened the door to her house and smiled petting her golden lab, "Hi Lacey. Come on!" she said happily, guiding the dog to his food bowl as she poured some food in.

She leaned over her kitchen counter to her answering machine, pressing play.

"Emmaaa." came her mothers annoyed voice, "Just calling again seeing when you can finally show your face, since you've been home for 2 weeks and STILL haven't come over. Let me know. bye."

The next message

"You little hoe!" Came Manny's voice.

Emma laughed, sitting on a stool, oh MAnny...still the best of her friends.

"You did NOT tell me you moved back. My 24th birthday, next Friday, you better be there." with that, it went dead.

Emma sighed and got up, looking out the window as she went to her front door. It was getting dark...as she gazed out the window of her door, her shoulders dropped. She use to embrace the woods and thought this was a good home but...now she feared it now and them, specailly if she was alone.

Emma locked her door and made sure the chain was on it too. She feared she always be afraid of..well, fear.

"Can't have a stake out without Donuts." Spinner smirked, sitting in his cop car.

Well, Jay's I guess, since he was the driver. Jay snickered and shook his head no when Spinner reached into the box and offered one.

"This guy has been in there all night." Jay muttered, staring at the strip club. They were watching some guy who was a suspect in possibly murdering girls on the streets, or strippers.

I mean it was obvious it was him, look where he was now?

Speaking of now.. Jay a cop? I know..he never found himself here either. On the edge of 25 and he was a pretty damn good cop too.

Spinner was his partner and Sean would time to time be put onto cases with them as well. Sean was more an office boy now though since Ellie didn't like him putting his life on the line anymore since of the baby she was now pregnent with.

Look at them. All growing up.

"There he is." Spinner sang, watching an old sketchy man wearing farmer jeans and a plaid shirt walk out of the club with a stripper.

Jay turned the car on and followed out. The greatest part? He didn't have to drive an actual cop car, he could keep his orange civic baby as long as he put his siren on and the light on the top when he chased down criminals.

Yes he still had his honda, too hard to let it go.

He also didn't have to wear the cop uniform either unless they went to events but Jay barely went to those. Jay wasn't so...party wild anymore like he use to be.

"Another crime solved." said their cheif as they walked in with some people around , clapping. Sean sat on his desk and even slapped Jay and Spinners back as they passed and sat on their desks near too.

Their cheif was a chunky man, dark skinned and actually looked exactly like the father from the show Family Matters. Spinner got introuble before for saying that one out loud.

Cheif Grims spoke up, "Alright everyone." he said to the staff, "The hooker case is solved, and sadly.. we got another."

Jay frowned, seriously? It was non stop lately.

Everyone frowned and the Cheif put up some pictures... some very bad looking pictures. Jay even found himself glancing away and he's seen some bad stuff before.

The pictures were of family's, kids even, dead. They all had one thing in common, the three murdered families were set up on a bed after they were killed, and their mouth cut up so they could look like they were smiling, but their eyes were taken out.

"Jesus Christ." Spinner looked away, wanting to puke.

"Suck it up, this is what you're here for." the cheif bellowed.

Sean cringed but swallowed hard. Children even, not just parents but some sick fuck was doing this to kids? Sean suddenly just wanted to go home and hold Ellie.

"We have profiler Kevin here today." he nodded to a slim tall man, he was asain and smart, they used him a lot for these cases.

But for once, he looked stumped.

"We're sure this has to be a man." Kevin told the cops and explained, "By the way and number of people he took on. Um, this could be because he had something against his own family, or... he doesn't have one." he shook his head, "But we really have no lead."

"No lead?" taunted Sean, amazed by that. Nothing?

"No prints or anything. This one is.." Cheif couldn't even think of a word but went to it, "Gavin, Hogart and Cameron, you three are going to be on this at the same time."

They nodded and everyone got up.

" I need someone to find out if any of these families had a call or spoken to anyone before they died." he called out before they all went to work.

Spinner and Jay sat in their office and Spinner tossed a mini foot ball up and down, "Children? I mean jesus...this is the first I have to see something like that." he muttered, still tossing.

Jay was scribbling some notes down and just rubbed his forehead, "Yeah." he didn't want to think about it.

His head began to pound harder and he shut his eyes tight.

_**Bang BANG!**_

Jay's eyes snapped open and looked up to see Manny who knocked on their door and giggled coming in,"Afternoon." she said.

She leaned over Spinner's desk and shared a kiss. Yea, these two were dating again though Jay wasn't sure how serious it was this time.

Spinner was pretty roughed up after the wheelchair and Paige thing but when Manny walked back into his life, it was the boost he needed. He was just like old Spinner again, cracking jokes, and all. Took him a long time to get back on his feet, physically and mentally.

How long did it take Jay? He wasn't even sure if he was fixed yet.

When Jay walked out, he muttered a goodbye to the love birds and took off home. Seeing her, reminded him of... well, he won't get into that.

On his way out the new operator at the front desk caught his eye as she stared almost hungerily at him, a tanned brunette with a face like Megan Fox. Jay smirked and shook his head.

Was he single? Yeah. Had he had relationships in the past 7 years? One. Tons of flings but only one relationship that only lasted four months and it was a year ago. Her name was Jess and she couldn't handle how into his work he was or how scarred he seemed yet never talked about his past.

Speaking of scars..

Jay was in his bathroom as he pulled his shirt off, his lean muscels flexing as he moved around, wrapping a towel around his waist. He stopped infront of the mirror as the shower got hot and as he stood naked with a towel, that scar reminded him of everything every time he had to look at it. It was white now, but very noticable and rised a little when you ran your hands down his stomach. It was his lower stomach, right near the left side of his belly button.

That was it.

That was his scar from Rick, for _her_

Slowly, arms went around his waist and that operator from work, smirked. She put her chin on his shoulder and pouted, "When are you coming in?" she asked.

Okay, so, Jay was still a bit of a player.

He just turned and let her take his towel off, looking up at him playfully and she yelped when he grabbed her and she lept up into his arms as they went into the shower, and she fucked him or should he say he fucked her as she screamed out in pleasure, steam flowing around and fogging up the room as they panted.

_**Some days I sit starin' out the window  
Watchin' this world pass me by  
Sometimes I think there's nothin' to live for  
I almost break down and cry**_

Sometimes I think I'm crazy  
I'm crazy, oh, so crazy  
Why am I here, am I just wasting my time?

But when I see my baby  
Suddenly I'm not crazy  
It all makes sense when I look into her eyes

_**[Chorus:]**__**  
Sometimes it feels like the world's on my shoulders  
Everyone's leanin' on me  
'Cause sometimes it feels like the world's almost over  
But then she comes back to me**_

_**(Eminem)**_


	3. Welcome Back Miss Perfect

Emma stared down at the ring on her finger .

She had dated a guy she met in Uni. His name was Kelly, and he was great. Smart, everything she wanted... or what she thought she wanted, and when she got it, she wasn't sure anymore.

When he asked her to marry him, she said yes I mean what better could she have? He knew her past and for once, well, he DID judge her but didn't look at her like she was glass, he knew she was strong. But..something wasn't there and she had called off the engagment for a bit.

Just til she figured things out. Guess that's why she came back home. She didn't know if she should keep wearing the ring or not, but kept it on. She didn't want the questions. He called her the other night, seeing how she was but was being so great about giving her space.

"EMMA!" her mother pulled her in tight when she came into her old family home.

Spike squeeled happily hugging her and Snake joined in on the hug, Emma laughed.

Next she'd have to go visit Manny, who was having that party. She had called her earlier on in the week and had found out she was dating Spin, and when asking what he was like now, supposedly he was a cop too, with Sean..and to Emma's suprize, Jay too.

She's thought about Jay now and then. Now and then, a lot. She was a little nervous wondering if he'd be there tonight.

Wow it's been 7 years since she's seen him. What were you suppose to say to the guy who saved your life and got stabbed? Let alone crushed all through highschool.

Yah, Emma came to terms with it in the hospital, you remember when she went on and on about life not being the same without him, it's cause he meant something to her, she knew that, just was too young to understand what that was yet and when she took off to college.. she knew she was in love. But Jay was so different then her, and dating Alex, and she was just that goody two shoe girl that wouldn't have the chance. I mean she knew she was pretty, not vain, but was told a lot and got tons of boys and now mens attention but she always liked Jay's attention the most.

It was different, because he was so 'bad' and mysterious, and he was Jay. No one could tie him down..not even Alex.. Emma had heard he cheated a lot and near the end, so did she.

"EMMA!" Manny screamed for joy as she opened the door to her birthday party, it was held in her apartment and it was crowded

Emma laughed and leaned in, hugging her tightly back. Manny last visited her in Arizona 4 months ago. It seemed like forever.

"Come on." Manny pulled her along to the kitchen.

Meanwhile, Spinner drank with Jay and Sean and Sean eyed the beer, "Spin." he said annoyed "I asked for a non alcoholic beer. I gotta drive home soon for Ellie." he reminded.

Spinner rolled his eyes, "Well I asked for a alcoholic friend but I didn't get what I wanted either." he confirmed.

Jay chuckled as he looked around and then his eyes caught something and he stopped dead in his tracks, smile gone, breathing stopped.

Sean and Spinner even noticed the look on his face and looked where he was.

Over by the kitchen stood Emma Nelson, long lost friend, and for some, enemy. . enemy he was really just in love with.

"Emma Nelson." Sean practically sung, happy a friend was home.

Jay swallowed hard. Good... he wasn't just seeing things. She really was there. He didn't know she was coming? She's never come for a birthday before. Was she visiting? How was she? Did she know he was here? Was this wierd? was-

"Well did Arizona treat her good or what." Spinner said out loud, watching Emma's tanned skin glow and her natural blonde hair wave naturally. She was still tall like, like a model, and wore tight blue jeans and white v neck shirt.

Jay almost panicked when Sean and Spinner began moving over but went with, not understanding why his feet were against his mind, yelling at him to run away.

"and then I got the part of the movie!" squeeled Manny, ending whatever conversation they were having as Emma filled two shot glasses with vodka.

"Welcome back." Sean told Emma as she put it down, and turned to him, hugging him back.

"I want in on this too." teased Spinner, next. That's when Emma saw Jay as Spinner held her and they connected eyes for what seemed two seconds before he looked away and Emma just looked him over.

Still attractive as hell. God damnit. Emma pulled away and coughed, "Hey." she said quielty to Jay, knowing a hug might be too much for the both of them.

To her happiness, he always understood her and just nodded back in greeting, looking back at another and sharing a moment until Manny cut them off.

"Shots!" she cheered.

The guys had their beers and just raised their glasses, "Happy birthday!" Spinner cheered to his girl friend, kissing her cheek and chugged his beer.

Emma and Manny took a shot when Jay noticed something on Emma's finger. A ring. A fucking ring. A r ing, she was married ? Engaged? It was still too late, that's all that could run through his mind, it was too late.

She was never meant for him..though it sure damn felt like it whenever around her. You know that feeling you get when you shiver? Then you get goosebumps and then you feel all tingly? He felt that whenever she was near.

He's never regretted getting almost killed over her. It was the greatest moment of life he's ever had, and he knew she sometimes wondered and wished he could tell her.

"Kelly didn't come?" Sean asked Emma.

Emma shut up and then bit her lip as she glanced at Jay who seemed busy with Spinner and Manny, and she slipped her ring off slowly, sticking it into her pocket.

"Nope." she told Sean and shrugged slowly, "On a bit of a break right now." she said honestly.

Sean nodded.

"Alright, party girl needs to go to bed." Spinner insisted, Manny almost on the ground in the kitchen, til he put one of her arms around his neck.

"No! Ems home! Have to party more!" slurred Manny and tripped over her feet as Spinner led her to her room.

Emma shook her head smiling and she tried to avoid his gaze but finally looked up over at Jay who glanced just in time at her too.

They now stood out on the balcony and Jay had a smoke as she sat on a chair, sitting indian style.

"A cop huh?" Emma teased Jay, catching up with him even though she already knew, but never stopped to amaze her. He did look builter.

Jay smirked, inhaling his smoke and nodded, exhaling.

"Putting my criminal ways into use." he joked.

Emma laughed and he tried not to stare, missing that laugh and that smile. Wow..way better than the memory of it he had.

Emma smiled and nodded, "To catch a criminal guess you gotta be one." she joked then frowned. Well.. that just reminded her of Rick and now that awkward moment was in the air.

"How's Arizona?" he muttered, looking away from her. He didn't want her to see just how much he cared and knew some things still about her.

Emma stared impressed at him though, he knew? Or remembered?

"Good, but I moved back." she admitted.

He looked back and had an unreadable expression as she tried to figure it out. But with Jay..it was always so hard.

Jay opened his mouth to ask about the husband or fiance but shut his mouth, not wanting to or really caring. Right now it was him and his old Greenpeace.

He didn't think there would ever be the day.

He then said out loud, "Why would you want to come back _here_?" he said the last part with such, disgust, bitterness. Him and Emma both heard it and knew what it meant...this place was a DARK place, espasahlly for them. You get trapped.

Emma slowly shrugged looking down slowly. She didn't know to be honest, just was so curious how everyone was...how he was.

But that'd be crazy to say.

"If it's so bad, why'd you stay?" Emma asked back , being so serious and he narrowed his eyes back at her.

_To see if you'd come back._

"Hey guys." Spinner whispered, peeking out the door, "Everyones leavin', Manny just puked all over."

"Gross." Emma bluntly said and Jay chuckled, nodding at Spinner.

Jay swallowed hard and pulled his keys out, jingling them almost nervously, "You want a ride?" he finally asked.

Emma, shocked, looked at him but then slowly nodded and got up.

"You live all the way out here?" Jay asked while driving.

Emma giggled in the passanger seat, "You know me, I love the trees."

He smirked, glancing at her and nodded. They were driving out of the city and more into the country side of Toronto.

"Country girl." joked Jay playfully.

"Yet hate country music." Emma admitted. Didn't go well together huh?

A few moments, Jay started to clench his jaw as he slowly rolled up a long path to get to her place.

"Just that one up there." Emma pointed.

It was pretty dark at night, he wouldn't of seen without his headlight beams on and her front porch light on.

"Doesn't this get..creepy?" Jay asked her.

Emma sat there as they parked and she shrugged, "Only at night if I think about it." she admitted, which she usually did.

Silence.

"Well...nice..seeing you?" Emma said questionably not knowing if that was okay to say since what they use to be like so many years ago, like cat and dog.

Jay grinned wide, locking eyes with her, "Yea it was alright."

She rolled her eyes opening her door and he coughed to then call her back, she shut the door and he rolled the window down as she leaned on it and tilted her head.

"You wanaa.." Jay cursed silently to himself, would it sound too much like a date? "Have coffee tomorrow?" fuck coffee, was he stupid?

Emma was trying not to smile either... that wasn't the usual pick up line from Jay Hogart. Then again it was Jay, he couldn't be asking it like THAT, just a friendly thing...they had gone through alot. God he probably pitied the fact she lived in this house alone.

"Sure." she finally answered , "But you have to pick me up" she teased and he smirked, nodding and she did so back then lightly waved as she stood back up and then turned.

When his car pulled out she glanced once more back to see him go until out of sight.

Her heart was pounding and those old highschool girl butterflies were back in her stomach. She bit her lip to stop herself from smiling so much but couldn't stop.

Damn.

She was still in love. Hadn't changed a bit.


	4. Scars Remind Us The Past Is Real

"Where the helll is your sorry ass, Hogart?"

"Cheif, I'll be there in a bit." chuckled Jay, driving up the same path as last night, towards Emmas.

"We got a case damn it." Grams barked across the phone.

Jay nodded,it was important, but they were getting nowhere. What was worse was there was another case with hookers again but this time worse, he was raping and then burying the girls alive . But Jay's case, with the family killer, This killer was smart and even more gory and dramatic. And frankly, he'd rather be staring at Emma's pretty face rather then bloody pictures of dead families

"I'll be there as soon as I can.." Jay promised and hung up.

He now stood infront of Emma's door and finally knocked on it, sucking in a deep breath as it opened after a moment. Inside he could hear barking and then there was Emma, trying to hold a cute lab back that was too excited over a visitor.

Jay chuckled shutting the door and Emma sighed letting go of Lacey, she was too strong and she happily went to Jay..and Jay happily pet her. Emma was sort of impressed, Lacey usually growled.

Jay rubbed hard behind lacey's ears as he bent down, "Ladies still love me." he taunted, looking up to Emma who snickered.

Emma led him to her kitchen, the place was pretty big inside..he wondered if she lived here with this fiance. He asked Sean about it, without trying to look obvious but a 2am phone call kind of did it for him.

Sean tried to pretend always he didn't see the tension between Emma and Jay, Jay guessed it was for reasons like Sean wasn't over her or he wasn't good enough for Emma...something Sean like.

Anyway last thing Sean knew, she did get engaged to this Kelly guy.

"Do you work today?" Emma asked him and he smirked, trying to hide the obvious grin.

"No." he lied, but didn't mind.

He scanned Emma over as she looked for something in the kitchen. Jean short shorts, showing off those beautiful long legs, and a lace white bustier with her long hair straightened and framing her face.

Fuck she was beautiful.

She found her sunglasses and smiled that smile he loved so much, "Okay, let's go."

They drove to nearest coffee shop, and Emma grabbed her favorite green tea as Jay a simple coffee.

"Greenpeace," Jay said behind her, following her to a table, "Green tea." they sat down and she smiled shaking her head at his teasing.

"Haven't been called that in years." she admitted out loud a bit quietly though, stirring and staring at her tea instead of his eyes.

He licked his lip and tightened them together before nodding slowly. It's been too long..

Emma slowly lifted her eyes to catch his gaze and he sucked in a breath looking away, "So what do you do now?" he asked.

Emma smirked, "take a guess."

"Environmentalist." he rolled his eyes.

She laughed, "I was." she admitted, "Doesn't pay too well though..kinda stumped when I didn't know what else I would want to do with the rest of my life." she sighed.

She was still having that trouble.. Emma gazed down at her tea about to gasp quietly, she was wearing the ring again. God, sometimes she put it on by habit. Did Jay see it? She tried to hide it and folded her hands into her lap.

"And..." Jay drifted, still wondering.

Emma looked up and snapped out of it, "Dancing." she smiled to his smirk and shrugged, "I use to dance a lot! I was a Ballerina." she smiled proudly.

He adored the way her eyes shined when she talked about it.

"Me and Manny use to compete a lot." Emma remembered, "She was always more gymnastics though and cheerleading. I just liked the ballet..so I went through performance school, and actually opened up my own dance studio with a friend." she frowned though, "But then I moved here."

"why?" Jay looked at her like she was so crazy, "Why would you give that up for this?"

Emma shut her mouth, looking down, she couldn't tell him. She went on with another excuse, "Wanted my family near me, missed them. Barely been watching my brother grow up." she looked up at him again, "Besides.. I got transfered to a school to teach there, for little girls."

She looked all gushy when she said that, Jay laughed, girls and there need to love toddlers.

"Do you wear a tutu and everything?" he taunted.

She gave him a stern look, "Do you?" she teased again though, "Those are cliched outfits, or for actual plays. In dance class, it's just body suits or something tight."

Jay swallowed hard and she then blinked, going over what she just said. Woah, too revealing? Jay couldn't get the sight of her in a tight little body suit, those things were like tighter than full bathing suits and didn't hide your chest- OK stop Hogart, STOP.

Emma coughed, "So yeah, I'm a dance teacher." she smiled and he just grinned back.

It went by faster than he thought and he frowned, not wanting to go but did have to go to work. As he drove her back home he snuck glances at her.

"Alright, I'll see you." Jay said, promise like as he watched Emma get out.

"Why? Are we friends now?" Emma taunted him, shutting his door as he chuckled.

"Barely but maybe." Jay answered, not making sense but Emma understood completely, only she could. He watched her smile over her shoulder as the sun beamed down on her and then skipped up her steps, into her house.

He sighed, and went back to work.

Jay cringed as another new family was killed last night and the cheif threw the picture on his desk. Same thing, eyes out, family together, forced to smile.

"Jeses." Jay rubbed his eyes, "We're not getting any suspects yet?" He looked at Spinner, that was pretty good with that stuff.

Spinner shook his head, "Some investigators are really trying but.. we got a crack team." he admitted, "our best men aren't really...the best men."

The cheif glared at him but nodded slowly, "It's true. Their blanking.. maybe we need to give this case to the other station?"

Jay shook his head, "We're not stupid, we just need a better..profiler or analysis." he gazed back at the picture, it just felt like he was MISSING something, something big when he looked at it.

He suddenly got up quick.

"Hey." he went to Sean at his desk, "Look, look at him." he tapped on the picture with the son.

Sean shrugged, "What?"

"He's not smiling as big as the rest." he turned to the big board with all the other pictures and pointed at them, "All the sons aren't smiling as much as the rest of the family"

Cheif was impressed and nodded, walking up to take a closer look, "Good one, Hogart." he slapped his back.

"What's this mean?" Sean asked.

Jay shrugged, "I'm not a profiler.. where's Kevin?"

"Workin on the lastest Hooker case. That killer is getting brutal, and a big smarter." admitted the Cheif.

The phone rang and he went to go answer it.

Sean and Spinner stood infront of Jay, "You think maybe it symbolizes something?" Spinner asked Jay.

Jay nodded but shrugged, "Just don't know what."

The phone hung up and Cheif turned to them, "The hooker case was solved." he admitted, but had a wierd look in his eye.

"Great! Get Kevin superman over here." Spinner joked.

"He's not the one who helped him..." drifted Grams, looking a bit more nervous.

The three looked confused and Grams took a deep breath before he explained.

"Made a deal with a prisoner." he told them, "He's helped us out once before, with the Bully case."

"Rick Murray." Sean answered for him, knowing exactly who he was talking about. When he was hired, Grams noticed Sean, he's worked here for years and years and Sean looked familiar to him, he was the boy who saved everyone that day Rick Murray ended lives brutally, at just 15 years old. Grams was just a cop then, not cheif, and he remembered having to be the one to question Sean.

Jay stared blankly and then slowly walked back to his desk.

Spinner bit the end of his tounge, "Why go to him? There's tons of other prisoners." he spat, and tried to keep calm.

Jay took out evidence from a file, scanning through those pictures again, numb to this conversation.

"Cause he's the only prisoner with more than two degrees in law and justice and profiling." Grams bittered, "I don't want to say it, but the sicko is a genius, he's smart, he's one of them and thinks like one of them. He's got TWO killers for us-"

"When he felt like it." Sean snapped, "Doesn't make him good."

"I'm not saying that." Grams told him a bit more calmer, "I'm saying he looked at a case for two days, and caught a killer faster than we could while locked in a cell."

"He didn't physically catch him." Sean corrected, "Big deal, he gives them good information on who this guy could be and then leaves it us to find."

"It's more than what we have right now." muttered Jay, admitting.

Grams shut up, shocked Jay said something.

Sean was shocked too and even Spinner blinked and spoke quietly, "What? What you want to ask him for help?"

Jay looked up and then snapped out of, shit, he said that out loud? "no.."

"Why not?" Cheif asked, "Maybe he'll do it cause he knows you." he looked to Sean.

Sean shook his head at him, "I couldn't do it sir, too personal."

Spinner lifted his hands, "Don't look at me I still got the bullet scar on my back, least Sean got nothing."

Sean glared.

Grams looked to Jay, "Hogart... you? I wouldn't ask if we weren't desperate."

Jay sighed, standing up ad went over to them, "No." he simply answered, and left with that, slamming the door closed behind him.

Jay now sat in a resturant, the Olive Garden, and he stared blankly at his fist on the table, chugging a beer in his other hand.

_**I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut  
My weakness is that I care too much  
And our scars remind us that the past is real  
I tear my heart open just to feel  
(papa roach-scars)**_

Talk to Rick? Were they THAT desperate? Was he THAT smart ?

"Hey."

Jay snapped out of it as Emma came around him and sat on the other side. He took notice she looked more than beautiful tonight, fancy even. She wore her hair straight again, with a black mini skirt and quater sleeve white tight top, her chest kinda..showing off and her legs as they crossed over another, showing off also her black high heels.

"Weird you wanted to have dinner." Emma admited and hid her blush shutting her mouth.

Why did she have to be so honest.

Jay hid his smirk, "I do eat." he teased, "Do you?" he watched entertaingly as she glared playfully and opened her menu

He frowned, remembering all the event of today and really wanted to talk about it to her.. but they haven't, not even since it happened.

"Jaaaaay." Emma sang and he snapped out of it to see her staring. God, how long was he out this time?

She laughed nervously, "You okay?"

Jay took a deep breath and shrugged slowly, "Long day at work." he admitted.

Emma eyed his suspisously, "You said you didn't work today." she eyed him up and down.

"Got called in, I'm a cop remember?" he tried not to smile, knowing he might be caught he may of ditched work just for her.

Emma tilted her head and looked like she really cared, "What happened?" her voice was so soft.

Jay took a deep breath, here we go...


	5. Promises

Emma looked like she had seen a ghost.

Jay cringed, looking away from her, he hated bringing it up, telling her why work upset him.. he just felt she was the only one he could talk to.

She tried to blink of it and spoke quieter, "So your boss wants you or one of you guys to go make a deal with Rick..so he can help?" she asked.

A flashback hit her hard.

Right after Rick had feathers and paint poured on him, she pitied him, and ran after him to see if he was alright..he took it as something different and tried to kiss her, then said she was leading him on this whole time but it wasn't like that.

Emma shook her head from the memory and listened to Jay's reply, "he just solved another case." he muttered, "I said no." he honestly said to her, sharing a look.

Emma tried to breath and played with the napkin infront of her, "Why him.."

"He, by rumour, had some great score on his tests for-"

Emma cut him off, "His Criminal Law courses? Or should I say online courses cause he can't leave that cell and there was no need for him to go and take that kind of course." her eyes blazed in furry.

Jay sat up and grabbed her hand, "Em, I said no." he promised.

Emma blinked and stared at his hand and softened, looking back into his eyes as he nodded sincerely at her. Her heart skipped...no one had ever been able to calm her down when she got rattled up over Rick nor anything before.

"It's not like we let him out and see the files." Jay said, and coughed, finally releasing her hand. Wait.. she wasn't wearing the ring.

Prbably just forgot to.

"Wait, so are you thinking about it?" Emma asked, giving him a crazy look.

Jay bit the end of his tounge and leaned in closer again, "This killer, is murdering kids, and families. It's someone who was raised wrong, or wasn't raised at all.. bullied even, by the way he.." he coughed, knowing it was too much information but she had to understand, "He cuts out their eyes."

Her face looked sick, and she looked away for a second and back at him, "Would you go? Or-"

"Don't know. I said no and I still want to but..someone to understand something so sick like this would be him.. and since he's so educated on it now..makes him double smarter."

"Did anyone stop to think maybe he took it so he can get out and use it."

"Emma, he's not getting out, I promise. They sealed his gate with a bulletproof glass."

Emma looked down and nodded slowly, after some silence she admitted, "Those families... it should be stopped..so if it helps.." she slowly nodded, giving Jay her approval.

But why'd he need hers? She wondered.

"If it's any of you three that goes to him.." Emma drifts off not trying to some mean, "He's going to play with your head more."

Jay swallowed hard and admitted, "I know, but I think out of Spinner and Sean.. I may be the strongest to face that and move on."

Emma didn't speak, because she agreed but she didn't want him going in there.

"Ofcourse you are.." she muttered as the waiter got there, "You still the scar where he tried to kill you."

Silence. Jay swallowed hard and just handed his menu to the waiter after ordering a pasta. Emma just got a salad, not so hungry now. When he left, Jay tried to make her feel better.

"Spinner has one too." he reminded. He wasn't the only one.

Emma almost snapped at him, "Spinner got shot and luckily it was near all the tissue of the back of his shoulder, right near his spine." She nodded at his stomach, "You got stabbed." she looked so sad now as she remembered their past, "He stabbed and ripped through _your flesh_, veins, muscles, and everything in between."

Jay saddened, his stomach turning watching this pretty girl start to cry, over him?

She added, "Let alone you and I both remember he twisted that knife and you were in the hospital longer than Spin...We also remember that look in Ricks eye after he got you.. like you were a prize." she sneered the last part.

She had nightmares of that part all the time.

Jay's heart pounded, a little moved she cared so much about it, about him but couldn't take it in a way she loved him back..no, probably just because he saved her life.

They ate in some silence, grumbles of 'how are you now' kind of conversation. When they finished, Emma almost got up in a hurry and Jay chased her out.

"Emma!" he ran after her to her car and before she opened the door, she held her keys and mustered the courage to turn back.

She didn't want him near Rick, not in fear of Rick, but because she wanted Jay safe. She cared about him trust me she tried not to but she cared so damn much.

"I won't do it." he promised, looking down at her desperately as she stared up at him sadly but nodded, softening.

He couldn't help it, his heart pounded, just wishing she was mad because she cared about HIM. He had to see.. He grabbed Emma into his arms but leaned her up against her car and Emma gasped but knew as he leaned down he was going to kiss her, and she happily crashed her mouth up to his, sighing in between it as she kissed deeply and his hands traveled up her body and through her hair til cupped her face. They made out pretty heavily and panted when they pulled apart slowly, breathless

Jay stared down at her lips in awe. Damn, she was a good kisser. Emma was more impressed by him and bit her lower lip.

She looked up at him and they locked eyes, completely stunned but amazed that this finally happened and the other kissed back. So they were inlove? Or at least secretly

"Come home with me." Jay heard her whisper so sexily, her hands placed on his chest. She could probably feel his heart thumping hard when she said that, probably felt him hard against her too.

They bashed into her house where the lights were off and landed on her couch, Emma giggling but he stayed kissing around her body, peeling her skirt down.

She bit her lip sexily and sat up, pulling her shirt off when he did and he laid back over her, kissing her passionately and groaned when she pressed up against him.

Her hand roamed down his chest and she stopped when she felt the scar and broke apart from the kiss, looking down at it, tilting her head.

He looked down at her, breathing hard, and felt tingles as she ran her hand over his scar..their scar. Her scar even. Her eyes scanned it so caringly, lovingly, he had to kiss her again and did so, she was so sexy,laying under him in her lace black panties and bra that he easily clipped off and leaned his head down, playfully kissing and sucking around it until finally teasingly nipping her nipple and she moaned out and panted

He had her on fire.

"Jay." Emma begged, feeling how hard he was against her hips under his jeans. Why was he playing with her?

Jay's been waiting for this, forever, and was never sure it would ever happen, so he had to savior it.

Emma gasped when his hand slipped between her lace panties and rubbed her, she moaned and closed her eyes, then looked up pleadingly into his. He looked unreadable, and Emma got kinda wet by how possessive he looked as he looked down at her. Why did she ever see it before? He did want her back, just as bad as she wanted him. She bucked her hips up now and then, meeting up with his hand and whimpered, getting there.

She tried to speak, but moaned before doing so, "Unfair. "she panted, and he teasingly went to kiss her, but stopped at her lips.

Emma pouted and whimpered again and he smirked, moving fingers into her now and she saw stars. She was naked and being teased as he still had his pants on. Well..guy did get stabbed for her. She'll let him have his way with her this time and she didn't mind how much he gazed down at her body in bliss.

"Oh m- uh, huh, huh." Emma gasped as he leaned his head back down, kissing her breasts again and working his hand faster and harder and she begged him to let her come, and she did as he sucked on her neck, she arched back and let out one cry of pleasure, and panted as she collapsed back down, sighing to the kisses on her neck still and grinded once more against his hand before he slid out and she shivered.

They kissed again, hungerily and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Hiding her chest up against his, he lifted her up and she giggled, trying to lead him to her room until they finally made it to her bed and she immediately went to unbuckle his pants until he pinned her down and under him again.

"Jaaay." she begged, giving him those puppy eyes, he smirked bringing one hand down to sooth his fingers down her soft cheek and then leaned back, standing back up and unbuckling his pants.

Emma bit her lip in want, no, lets face it, need.

Emma gasped and giggled when he grabbed the back of her knees, pulling her down a bit more near the end of the bed still on her back til he stood between her knees and she sucked in a breath when he slipped her panties off, lifting her butt as he did so. He stood there, standing in her glory, she was so ... his, at this moment. He didn't care about this other guy, Emma had to be his at least for tonight. He'd deal with the complicated aftermath after.

She arched back and pressed her chest up when his hand soothed up her stomach to grope her chest and then cupped the back of her neck, sitting her up so she was eye level with his neck.

Emma started little kisses up his neck and he sucked in his breath each time she did so til around his neck, "Please jus _fuck _me, Jay.. **please**.." she pleaded, needing him, and worked her hand to his hard on through his boxers

Oh wow, he was..big. Really big. She began to crave for it.

He groaned when she stroked him and pleaded again, "Please." with Kelly or any other past boy friend, she wasn't like this, she didn't beg..Jay was so different than the rest. Made her feel so alive. Because of him she was alive. She needed him, badly

"Jesus Christ, Em." he hissed and pinned her back down on the bed, leaning over her while still standing between her legs, "You know how long I waited for this?" he whispered to her.

She pouted as she nodded, feeling the same way.

He grabbed her chin gently, staring softly into her eyes, "Should of told you I wanted you all this time." he whispered.

She sadly looked up to him and leaned up, kissing him deeply. Just what she needed to hear.

He lined her legs up around him and pulled her up a bit more so he could make love to her at the end of the bed. This position was always best for the girl, and tonight was about giving his all to her.

She waited for it, feeling it against her and wanted to whimper but how long he made her wait, kissing her lightly and leaned his forehead down to hers.

"Tell me you won't marry him." he asked of her knowing it was a lot, but, what they were feeling, for how strong it was, it had to be mutual right? She had to want to be with him just as bad too?

She felt the tip of him at her entrance and was so in bliss she just tried to press him into her but he pushed it back and gave her a warning look until she nodded up at him and whispered honestly, "I'm yours."

That was more than he asked, but did need and want to hear and he crashed his lips to hers, pushing right into her knowing he had a bit of a size and she cried out in the kiss and pulled away, eyes shut until she got use to it and he began to slide in and out, and she held onto his arms. He got a bit quicker and Emma cried out and he clenched his teeth together, she felt perfect inside.

She leaned back on the bed again as he pumped into her, her legs bent up and apart and staring down at her hungerily as she bucked and arched, moaning for him. It was getting so good he could barely stand and began to sweat.

Finally he laid down over her and moved her other thigh up higher the then the other around him, and she tightened her grip on his back as he started to pound, ravaging another harder. Emma squeeled and came hard, and threw her head back as she felt him shoot inside her deeply and he cursed out loud coming hard, and slipped out of her, his hard on now limp and throbbing. Fuck that was great. He winced and they were both hot and breathless and Emma laid her head on his chest.

"Who knew you had that in you." Jay teased Emma still panting.

She tiredly smiled up at him and shut her eyes, just laying beside him and he softened, putting his arm around her tightly, not wanting to let go.

"Stay this time." he whispered to her, kissing the top of her head, "With me."

Emma opened her eyes and felt her heart skip, she nodded against his chest though and let her finger tips trace of his scar.

"Just promise me you'll stay away from Rick." she begged, looking back up to him and they locked eyes.

If that meant he could have her? Jay nodded. Ofcourse


End file.
